Blame it on the bad weather some of you are still experiencing out there or just blame it on life...because from what I've read this week, some of you have had miserable days accompanied by a "meltdown" or two...my meltdown was on Wednesday to be exact.
I'd like to believe I have fairly good coping mechanisms (and I'm pretty even tempered) so luckily I don't have miserable days often, but when I do have a BAD day, it can either go one of two ways. I can either sit on top of my bed all day, laptop in hand, wasting my day away, or I get productive. Wednesday I chose the latter of the two. You wanna see a clean house, just get me mad!
Wednesday morning I was thinking about some of the things my kids have done over the years (and some more recent) and it put me in a funk. Those of you with small kids ...your time is coming! I DO have really great kids but they both have made a few not so smart decisions and remembering these made me cry...intermittently throughout the day...alot...and for no apparent reason. So much so that my hubby and dog Jake stayed clear of me the whole day...smart decisions there!
Why do I allow myself to do that...cry over spilled milk that is? I'm guessing it's because I'm a Mom and also because I invest alot in people and I want the same in return. Maybe that's my first mistake, expecting so much of others. I need to cut people more slack, namely my family...but they in return need to think of others and think smart...and they generally do!
One example of the stress of being a Mom to older kids: "Son...I'm not trying to be on your back all the time when I say please don't ever drink and drive. It would be a terrible thing to do. It's against the law and nothing good has ever come out of drinking and driving" I say. Well, for the last week, my son's new roommate has been in critical condition due to a drinking and driving related motorcycle accident. Son, please know that I just don't talk to hear myself talk, I'm thinking about you and your safety...
Daughter, please remember that you're in college to get a degree yes, but not the MRS. degree. Remember last year when you almost gave your Father a heart attack... due to all of the yelling...because you said you would choose the current boyfriend over us...
So, on days like Wednesday, when my mind chose to wander, I chose to be productive, work outside in the gorgeous weather, and pray while doing so. All of these in combination helped me to get out of my funky mood. When you have a funky day or your mind chooses to wander...what works for you?
Friday, April 18, 2008
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17 comments:
My goodness, I'm sorry about your bad day! I'm a house-cleaner too when I get mad! I'm glad you got outside for awhile. There's nothing like some nice weather to cheer someone up! I hope you have a better weekend.
I am so sorry! I hope the rest of the week has been better for you.. I bet your yard looks great!
Been there~ Do that! I have those days where my mind won't shut up. It over takes me and then I start to feel like a failure in so many ways. I have risen above the total feeling of failure though over the course of last year. I had many dark days with my teenage boys. Many. But my faith is the source of strength for me. I also have a friend and sister I can talk too. That helps when you can vent. Glad you could plant a little beauty all around you and not just dwell the whole day away on your couch. Take Care Linda. Your cute even in a little Funk.
I am a firm believer in needing days to just put it all out there, get it out of our systems.
You are a terrific woman, and I think that comes with the territory of being let down and getting hurt from time to time.
If I know you, the rest of you week was better.
xo Misty
Oh Linda, I so "hear" you on this. I always laugh at those who think we should be given an owners manual to parenting...a book to read before getting pregnant.
Are they kidding? If they did, NO ONE have kids... especially after reading "chapter 54" on "Raising Children to Live Through Their Teens" Or the chapter on "Teaching Your Older Children Listening Skills"
Yep, there would be no babies born... we would all be afraid to tackle parenthood. However, our kids do make it and do well... when they are taught good principals, of which you have Linda.
You really have done well, and they will listen and make good choices. Because they "know better!" May take a while, but they do what is right when they have been taught.
Maybe if I could turn more of my funks into creative energy I'd have a beautiful yard like yours. Then again maybe not. I'm afraid I don't have your talent.
I'm definitely a house cleaner when I am upset and need to regroup. I like to restore order to at least one area of my life.
I hear everything you have said and I think as Moms we just get most of that. The hardest thing is dealing with our "young adults" when we know the choices they have made are going to be the wrong ones and there is nothing we can do about it!!!
We just have to know that all the grounding we have given them will eventually pay off. The scarey thing is when its out of our control, the whole drinking and driving thing - we all know it will come to no good and unfortunately in this situation it can be life and death.
We just hope that the angels are watching over our "little ones" if they are making a bad decision to bring them home safely.
Thanks for your post, it makes me feel like I am completely normal
Have a great weekend...luv Mandi.
Awww--sorry for the funk! Glad you went with the productive therapy--it helped to make you feel better and you can see the fruits of your labor. A win-win!
I hope you're feeling better. I know that I, too, have days like that but luckily, not too many. I usually chalk mine up to hormones and "perimenopause" (or so my dr. says).
It is sometimes hard being a parent. It is always wonderful, but nobody tells you that it isn't easier when they are older, but much more difficult. I have had the same talks, thoughts and discussions with my older two that you have just talked about.
As for dealing with stress - I am a cleaner as well. I will shred, file, dust, vacuum (alot, very calming for me) and cook. Actually, cooking is quite the tranquilizer when I'm not calm. Unfortunately, someone has to eat all the stuff I cook. When I am stress cooking, it is usually baked goodies and desserts. I also cook enough food to last us for a week or so - literally.
I hope you have a wonderful Sunday.
Hope you had a a better day today! I clean when I get mad! In fact my husband and I laugh about it alot that he can motivate me if I get mad at him! Otherwise I leave it for the cleaning lady to do!
Hi Linda! I'm sorry to hear that you had a bad day, but the way you handled it, outside in the garden and spending time with the Lord, was just wonderful. I too can relate to your heartfelt post. Thank you for visiting my blog, and taking the time to leave a comment. I really do appreciate that a lot! Hope you have a wonderful week and that you'll visit again soon!
Amanda (aka Cottage Contessa)
At least you put it to good use. I'm like you, when I get angry about something I start cleaning.
Sorry you had a 'funky' day. Hope your weekend was better.
Brenda :)
Did you come pick up your daughter at ASU? I thought about you all weekend hoping you had a good time..
Thank you so much for the sweet post on my blog about my son. It's hard being a mom!
I really appreciate that we've become friends & have never even met. You seem so sweet & nice, someone that I would love to just go out to lunch with or out shopping with & would have a great time.
If you ever need anything you can always email me at brenwhiz at cox dot net..
Oh Linda, I can hear the agony in your words. Raising young adults is something else! I am so glad that they are fun, and loving for the most part. It is when they throw a good ol' suprise that it can hurt. Hang in there. Remember your not alone. Working on the yard sounds like a perfect day to get cheered up. :)
Wow, what a day Linda. I have been thinking a lot about my girls and hoping I'll be prepared mentally, spiritually, and phsyically for them to be teenagers. You sound like a wonderful mom doing exactly what you should be doing. I'm sorry it's so troublesome - but I guess that's what we signed up for. Your yard looks great from the photos below! Are you finding time to enjoy it?!!
sorry about your bad day! I seem to have several of those myself these days....i usually end up handing my son over to my husband once he is back from work and going on to find a really twisted/difficult photoshop tutorial that can keep me occupied for a while.
reading everyones comments I already dread the time my son becomes a teenager...he is already a handful!!
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