So here's the question: Are you a "people pleaser" or do you have the ability to say "no!"
After being a people pleaser my whole life, I'm finally learning to say no. It's been a hard thing for me to do but I'm doing it.
I've spent years and years running myself ragged and then being mad at myself for giving in to each and every demand. Just this morning I got a call asking me to do something on Monday. In a very nice way, I said no. Yes, I felt bad and even a little guilty about saying no but at least I won't be mad at myself the whole weekend for giving in.
I'm learning!
(It's been so hectic around here I haven't been able to post anything since last Friday. I'm hoping things will slow down soon!)
19 comments:
I'm a people pleaser to a fault! I get in trouble with my husband ALL the time for not being able to say no! I'm working on it, too, but I always feel so bad when I say no!
Team people pleaser, all the way.
people pleaser...guilty : ) I'm getting better though.
good for you -enjoy your weekend!
I do both! I still say yes more than I should but LESS than I have in the past. Yes, I DO feel guilty whenever I say no but the guilt only lasts for a few minutes or maybe an hour and then I'm fine. The times I still say "yes" when I wanted to say "no", I feel guilty for A LOT longer!
I have to force myself not to automatically volunteer. To make myself, WAIT and think about it when I am removed from the pressure situation. That gives me the opportunity to consider how it fits into my life...is it doable, is it good for my family, how will it effect me.
Hi Linda, what a darling blog. I love your header with the cute pup. I used to do everything I was asked but no more. If I have time and it's something I'd enjoy then maybe, if not then NO!!
Guilty as charged, I am a people pleaser. I am working on the "N" word, but it is still super hard for me. With age comes wisdom, so I am hoping that the wisdom will kick in soon! Great question. Sue
I learned to say no at 40. It's good. The more you say it the easier it gets, and the less people feel free to wipe their feet on you.
Hi Linda,
Thank you for stopping by and entering my giveaway.
I used to be a people pleaser but those days are long gone. Sometimes the best gift is being able to say "no".
Your header is precious!
hugs,
Barb
Unfortunately I am a people pleaser too, but I am getting better!
I'm a reformed pleaser. I used to have to say "sure....I'll do it" to everything. Now I'm so much happier and have time for me. I don't need to do everything that I'm asked to do.
The hardest theng to say no to was being the flower person at my church. I hated to say no to my pastor but I just couldn't do it. Saying no is a good thing sometimes.
I think I lean towards being a people pleaser. But, like you, I'm learning to say no, even tho' that's hard to do.
Have a great guilt-free weekend!
people pleaser here. unless i have a great excuse like i am working and just cant do what ever it is you want me to do...but then i find myself suggesting that i can do it for you then next day, or something like that...aggggg!
Definitely a people pleaser. I've even avoided people who I know will ask a favor so I don't have to say no. I just can't do it. I think most women are that way. It's a quality that makes us as women very special. We are the caretakers of our families and it's hard to switch out of that mode when we are at work or church or wherever.
Good Morning Miz Linda,
Not only am I a people pleaser but I'm a perfectionist and that is not a good combination! LOL I have finally reached a point within the last few years where I'm able to step back and think before I automatically agree. And I try very hard to remember what I was asked to do so I don't go overboard making it even bigger and better than is required. It's tough though and I've spent many a weekend working on a project that wasn't my own that I resented every minute of and that's not fun at all. Have a wonderful weekend!
Hi Linda,
Good for youto say NO...I suppose in away..I am a people pleaser..don't want to offend anyone ...
Happy weekend.
Miss your posts...hope things calm down soon.
Warmly,
Deb :)
I do both. It really depends on the situation & the person. If it's someone that takes advantage of ppl like that. I don't have a problem saying no at all... I hate people that walk all over those that are just trying to be nice..
I like for people to be happy and like me BUT, the older I get, the better I'm getting at saying "no" if the request infringes on the limited quiet time that I have to relax.
Great minds think alike Linda!
I've been thinking about doing a post on this because I was a people pleaser most of my life but in the last 5 years I have really learned to say "no" and to not let people walk all over me. It is very liberating!
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