"No, I didn't call her. Why should I bother to call her or anyone else in my family, they never call me for my birthday, or any other time for that matter!"
Sadly, he's right. Today is my sweet husband's birthday and he hasn't received one card, call, or text from any of his family...and he won't. Unfortunately, the two that did call passed away over 10 years ago so his birthday always goes completely unnoticed.
That's where my family steps in...
For 29 years, they've ALL called and sent him cards for birthdays, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or they'll call just to call. They love him and he loves them. They've all called him today already to give him wonderful birthday wishes.
My husband and I are of different faiths and we often have different opinions on things so at times over the last 29 years I've wondered why God even put the two of us together. I now think one reason is that God knew he needed to be part of a loving, caring family. My husband is the kindest, most generous person around and his family just doesn't know, or care, what they're missing.
For the record, this was my response to my husband yesterday...
"I sent Allie a card/check and also sent her a message on Facebook. I know they don't call us or acknowledge our birthdays, but we're better than that, and we do what's right."
Update: My FIL just called to talk to me, asked me why I don't call him much. During the course of the conversation, I mentioned that it was Howard's birthday today. He didn't acknowledge that I'd said it and just kept on talking. Amazing!
20 comments:
Happy Birthday Howard! I hope your having a great day & Linda that you were able to spoil him.. That is sad that his family is like that. My own nephews are growing up like that. They don't call anyone to say Happy Birthday. But some are always looking for their birthday hand out!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOWARD!
Happy Happy Birthday to your hubby, Linda! Mine's tomorrow...how 'bout that? I'm sorry your husband's family doesn't call him on his birthday, much less remember that it is a special day.
Happy Birthday to your hubby! It's sad that his family doesn't acknowledge it. Bob's family isn't great at it, but some of them do call and his Mom always sends a card.
Linda,
I totally understand. My parents call me on my birthday but none of my siblings ever do - in fact they never call me unless they need something which is maybe once every couple of years. I do receive birthday calls from most of my husband's siblings though! I use to call my siblings and send a card every birthday but a few years ago I just decided they obviously didn't care so why should I and I stopped. Bad attitude I know....
Happy birthday to your sweet hubby!!
First of all Happy Birthday to your wonderful husband!
I do need to tell you that this sounds all to familiar. We are in the exact same situation. My husbands family never acknowledges anything for anybody including my husband their son, brother, nephew...
So I am glad that my family has stepped up to the plate and done that. We have been married 25 years and my mom still says "Poor Kurke his own mother doesn't even acknowledge his birthday".
I guess that is the way it is with some families.
I am glad you husband married you and got a wonderful family who loves and supports him.
We love our families but sometimes they can be difficult or hurtful and I love your husbands attitude about doing the right thing!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR HUBBY!!!
So glad that your side makes your hubby feel special.
Warmly,
Deb :)
Happy Birthday to your wonderful husband! Families????gotta wonder about some of them!!! Oh well, tell your husband we all deal with similar situations, it isn't just him. Just a call isn't much to ask though.
Happy Birthday Howard!
I am so glad your bloggy family is sharing birthday wishes with him.
How sad for them that they are missing out on a great relationship with a man who clearly knows how to have them.
My parents have the same problem but with a son-in-law. They went over to take him a gift on his birthday. He lives 30 minutes away. He knew they were coming but was conveinently not there when my folks got there. After waiting around for a bit and my sister being apologetic they had to leave. Apparently, he came home, saw my folks' car and went over to talk to a neighbor instead. His oldest boy was with him and Preston was so sad he didn't get to hang out with Grandma and Grandpa.
I try and remind myself that he is the one missing out on some great family relationships so I won't be so angry that he's such a jerk.
That's a shame. I hope that he had FABULOUS day. I know you made it special for him!!
Well Linda your hubby does matter to us and I want to wish him a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I am so sorry about his family. We have some family members that are like that too, but not all of them. How sad. Hugs, Loretta
Hope your husband had a happy day!
Belated birthday wishes, Howard! Can't families be complex at times? It's tough to figure them out at times.
Oh Linda, This is so sad. Your family is so cool to step in and do the right and loving thing!! I like it that you have the attitude of do what you know is right regardless if it ever comes back your way. That is such a powerful statement of God's love. Bless you. Kathi
Happy, Happy Birthday to your Honey....I wish I had some words of wisdom about his family. I just don't understand what happens in families sometimes....(I know that problem up close and personal...) I the love he feels from your family sort of makes up for it.....after all.........they CHOSE to love him, right? :-)
Thanks for coming and for your sweet words......I appreciate it more than you know!
Hugs,
Spencer
Happy, happy birthday Howard.
How sad is that, that even after telling your FIL it was his birthday he didn't acknowledge it.
Thank God for loving, caring people who are genuine.
happy belated birthday to Howard! My daughters share is date! They were 16 on Wednesday.
My husband and I have very different family backgrounds too. While we live in FL, within an hour of 3 of this brothers and their families, we rarely see them, we send some cards but we don't call, don't have them over for dinner or meet etc. Our kids are younger than most of their cousins by a decade or more. OTOH, 2 of my siblings live in TX and have much older children too, but never forget my children or each of us! I find myself frustrated over this too, but my dh seems to just brush it off.
I hope you made Howard's day special,and I'm sorry I turned this into my own blog post!!!
so sad... i hope howard had a wonderful birthday, regardless!!!
much love,
dani xxx
I say Howard and Linda, and Jake need a trip out to New England. We will wish him a happy birthday. I am awful about remembering, but this year I decided to load all birthdays into my Blackberry and I am doing better at remembering. I have a long way to go...however, I never forget close family with a phone call. My new son in law called AND texted me on my birthday this past year.
Well . . . as everyone else has already told you, families are a mystery. My sister and I have grown so far apart since my Mom died. I can't do anything right, so I've finally just decided If I don't enjoy being around someone, and they just create tension, why on earth would I spend any time with them? I will always love her; she is all the immediate family I have, but that doesn't men I have to like her, or her jerk of a husband. Now my husband's family? AWESOME! They've had their fair share of "stuff" too, but oh my, I just love them all to pieces - and vice-versa. So it works. My sister and her husband have alienated both of their families, and now they really only have their kids. How sad for them huh?
Well Happy Birthday Howard. BOY! I bet he wasn't expecting all of these birthday wishes too was he?
Tell him welcome to the family of blogging. It seems we are all here for each other through thick and through thin. Isn't it great?
Have a great day!
Karen
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